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Lord, Don’t You Help That Bear

Lord, Don’t You Help That Bear
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A preacher went out a-hunting,
Was on a Sunday morn,
And though it was against his religion,
Still he took his gun along.
He shot himself a couple of geese
And one gigantic hare,
And on his way returning home
He met a great big grizzly bear.
The bear marched out
In the middle of the road
And he waltzed to him so you see,
The preacher got excited,
Dropped his gun as he climbed a tree.
The bear sat down upon the ground
And the preacher climbed on a limb,
He cast his eyes to the God in the skies,
And these words he said to Him:

“Oh, Lord, didn’t you deliver
Daniel from the lion’s den?
Also deliver Jonah
From the belly of the whale and then,
Three little children from the fiery furnace,
So the Good Books do declare.
Now Lord, if you can’t help me,
For goodness’ sake, don’t you help that bear!”

The preacher stayed up in that tree
For all the rest of the night,
He said, “Oh, Lord, if you don’t help that bear
Then there’ll be one dreadful fight,”
Just about then the limb let go
And he then came tumbling down,
You should have seen him get his razor out
Before he struck the ground.
He hit the ground
Bouncing right and left, it’s true,
He put up a really strong fight,
The bear began to hug him,
And he squeezed him with all his might,
The preacher then lost his razor
Still the bear held on with a vim,
He cast his eyes to the God in the skies
And once more he said to Him:

“Oh, Lord, didn’t you deliver
Daniel from the lion’s den?
Also deliver Jonah
From the belly of the whale and then,
Three little children from the fiery furnace,
So the Good Books do declare.
Now Lord, if you can’t help me,
For goodness’ sake, don’t you help that bear!”

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